Some say our creative bottle design makes up for the taste.
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WOOD Drink is the ONLY refreshment produced from trees that instills in you the power of the mighty oak. When you drink WOOD Drink, you can feel the power and speed of the majestic poplar coarsing through your veins. You'll be the fastest, the tallest, and the strongest, just like the trees you ingested.
WOOD Drink is produced in our patent-pending two-step process. Using this special sequence, you can rest assured that every ounce of energy is squeezed from the trees.
First, our trained "naturalists"* comb the forests in search of highest quality twigs and bark. They are especially careful in their selection, and are trained to avoid any wood that is covered in fungus.** We take this high-fiber matter, grind it into a revolting, pulpy consistency, and go on to step 2.
The second part of our sheme...er...process begins when we send our network of representatives to saw mills and lumber yards throughout the nation, in search of high quality*** saw dust. They collect this dust and bring it back to our production plants, where we mix it with the pulp from step 1. This mixture is then taken through a special process to unleash the energy of the trees, then bottled and brought to a store near you.
Using our special process, we guarantee the smoothness you love with the fiber you expect. No compromises, WOOD Drink is the ultimate thirst quencher.
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